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I'm Tired, So Wanna Pick Up Again

7.23.2022

Trip to buffalo, 2021. I found this Janzen bathing suit from the 50's in an antique mall basement for $5. 

I used to type "b" into my browser address field and it would bring up the blogger homepage that I stubbornly keep this thing hosted on. Because in my heart I'm still 15 and this is still 2009 and I'm futzing around the attic with hot lights for some stupid reason to help me pretend I know how to take a photo and set up a camera. Instead I check in with myself, and realize it's not the streets of Buffalo, New York outside my window anymore, where it smells like fireplaces and crispy, cold air. My world doesn't feel small and hopeful, or nearly as romantic as it did when I was a teenager. This happens to everyone, but y'know, now I'm writing about it.

lmao, but I miss her. 
2009, Buffalo

I'm 30 now. I turned 30 this year. 

I have a life I had no idea how I would land when I was a teenager. I pay bills and work a job that is way beyond what I could have comprehended as a child and it humbles me every week (an understatement). I question myself constantly and I'm just as hard on myself now as when I was looking down the barrel of taking the regents exam. I wonder if making money is satisfying enough. I have family members who have died now who I thought would live forever. 


My boyfriend Jevins and I having a discussion in front of "The Meeting" by Fragonard at The Frick last year. I was laid off earlier in March, 2021 after a company downsize and looking back, even though I had some ROUGH patches of professional fear, I think I was happier in some ways then than I am now because I had a break.

I'm a dime a dozen now, which I guess is its own comfort. 

Here's my check-in: 

• I work in tech

• I'm naive but creative

• I'm satisfied by a sense of purpose and "fit" but I kinda lost my way. 

Still, I love trying to understand style anywhere I can, I like talking about why people want to express themselves a certain way. I love what Omondi's doing, her work is the closest thing I have to the feeling I would get after seeing someone shared a new blog post.

another one of my zillions of thrift store finds

Instagram sucks, I loathe TikTok, though I dig through Tumblr and Pinterest still, as this is where I can still fall down holes and remain a dinosaur of internet life comfortably. I miss magazines. I miss the feeling of waiting. I waited. If you are still reading this and had been in a position of waiting, welcome back. I hope I can satisfy something in us.

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Poems | Lucille Clifton

7.27.2020













Lucille Clifton, born in 1931, in Buffalo, New York. 
A Distinguished educator, writer, poet and two-time Pulitzer nominee, Lucille Clifton produced a lifetime of beautiful works. 

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Plant Matter

5.25.2020





Onyxmatter face mask 
Vintage SABA California dress found at 10-Foot Single
Rag & Bone jacket
Rings from Catbird and Annika Inez 


Life is undeniably topsy-turvy right now, and perhaps it's a cliché to talk about finding escape during quarantine, but yep, here I am with my maximalist fantasy moment through color, pattern and texture.

I feel weird talking about how beautiful a face mask is right now, but I appreciate how Catherine over at Onyx Matter is making hers, and it's heartening to see so many makers, designers and craftspeople making their own masks to sell and donate. Not only does Catherine make her own shibori fabric, she also teaches online workshops for dye patterns, shibori and other indigo-related stuff. If you're like me and have many questions while trying to follow YouTube tutorials, I suggest you check these out!


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The Collection

5.17.2020








I have been collecting these porcelain ashtrays in the shape of be-gloved, cupped hands for years. They were a popular novelty item produced in Japan after WWII. And to be honest, I have even more of these than what you see here, they're just strewn about the apartment, either holding soap, holding incense, or holding the smoldering ashes that I couldn't possibly hold in my own hands, thank you very much.

One finds these featuring an array of details that I love to see in each individual piece: sometimes the nails are painted gold to match the divet intended for a cigarette at the base of each hand, sometimes the fingers are long and elegant, or loosely arranged to intend a kind of casual "come hither" cup. I think the best thing about these is that they offer a chance to feel as if the thing in them are special, hence my preference to keep jewelry in 'em.

Since there's a bit too much in here to list individually, feel free to leave a comment if you're curious about what anything is or where it came from.

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Moodboard • Spring Wool

4.17.2020











I have been reading over and over again how people are itching to get elegant and dressed UP once this is all (dare I even suggest) over. I hear this and I think of skirt suits in the 50's and early 60's and laugh.

 One of my favorite things about dressing in the spring is embracing the opportunity to wear practically nothing, or at least very light layers underneath a big ole heavy winter coat. The juxtaposition (again, here I go with the contrasts) of big clunky coats with elegant or flowy dresses and a bunch of baubles is my favorite kinds of thing to wear. Add a T-shirt and we're really in business.

Awkward, a little funny, loose, and always undeniably human and alluring- or at least I think so.

On a sidenote, I honestly dig the snapshot, but all I can think of when I see that fifth photo of the person clutching a copy of that (awful) newspaper is this incredible moment from IDLES' Glastonbury performance.

And how about that new Fiona Apple album, amirite?

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My Living Room Wall By Jordan Tiberio

3.29.2020









Before life as we knew it changed, Jordan came over and explored my found photo wall.
I was thrilled to catch up, I was thrilled to see a familiar face. These faces are also familiar friends now, pinned over the table I spend most of my time around- working, eating, face-timing, arranging space for my cats to sleep.

It's home, we're all here.


Jordan Tiberio is a photographer living in Brooklyn, and we have been dear friends since we met on a shoot for Toy Syndrome about ~7 years ago? (gosh). Her inventive, nostalgic and magical touch is irresistable, and her photos manage to transport to another world, time and time again. Like stepping into a watercolor garden or an arms-length memory, her work is worth resting your eyes on for sure!

I feel lucky we got the chance to work together and freeze this place and time of home for an afternoon.
'Till we meet again.


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A Visit With Catbird (I Have a Permanent Bracelet Now)

6.04.2019



So here's something I wasn't expecting to do this year: I got the chance to visit the Catbird HQ 

You know Catbird - purveyors and designers of the daintiest, slightly magical, poetic jewelry offerings, and re-imaginers of wearables, responsible for the ring stack. 
I first heard about Catbird back in 2009, when I took part in the Weardrobe bloggers' conference (De Lune was 'Faboo' before I could learn about "personal branding"). Kelly Framel, in her most elegant glory, was donning probably 3 or so golden threadbare rings on her fingers, and I had never knew jewelry could be like that. I was so accustomed to fine jewelry being these formidable heirlooms or treasures your mom would suggest you look at while perusing the mall.
Instead what sparkled back at me from across the table, clutching the stem of a wine glass at dinner , were these rings the thickness of several strands of hair. Something clicked - the whisper thin gold was so casually worn and yet so incredibly delicate. It was so captivating for me as a teenager, and it's a story I repeated to the kind and creative ladies who took me on a tour of the offices- now 10 years later from when I first saw the rings

The team at Catbird assembled a group of us blogger-types, and led us on a tour of the office-slash-studio-slash-workshop. there were neatly organized drawers at every turn, full of bits 'n bobs and fully-assembled orders alike. Décor reminded me of what you'd expect a working girl in nyc media would decorate her first apartment with: a mix of eclectic antiques and photos of loved ones; each jewelers' workstation equipped with impressive soldering machines, trays of sparkly stones and wisps of chain. Everywhere I turned there was a reflective surface: from the pools of light from mirrors on walls and tables alike, to the glass cloches protecting pearls and a disco ball hanging in a corner or two; light was everywhere, and in every turn there was something to catch it. 









soon after the tour of the battlestations, I got my permabracelet! I cannot for the life of me settle on a tattoo design, but offer me the chance to wear a sparkly thing forever and I will show you my wrist.
Fun fact about the chain Catbird uses for this: it's a twisted rope chain that stretches comfortably over time while offering a nice sparkle.

I have had my bracelet for ~3 months now and I love it! It was a little snug at first, which the technician consulted with me about- I can attest it stretches to your wrist and the feeling of it is relatively unnoticeable.
 


Wearing two Tomboy rings, a sweet nothing ring, twisted stacker and a 14k Forever Sweet Nothing Bracelet that I can now only remove with scissors.


The Greco Lariat, which I wear on the reg


Thank you to the sweets at Catbird for opening your doors for a visit! It's certainly one for the books, and the 17 year old inside me who was dazzled by a thin wisp of gold doubly thanks the team for consistently creating the stuff of dreamy dreams.


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My Favorite Thrift Store Sections Are The Overlooked Ones

5.14.2019

If you take the time to go thrifting, whether it's weekly, bi-weekly, of, if you're a 65 year-old retired schoolteacher or engineer and love *~ThE ThriLl~* of hoarding things you'll eventually restore but never get around to and thus fill your garage (that's not to say people don't do these incredible restorations where they take $10 man cave trash with coffee mug ring stains and return it to its midcentury hardwood glory) you probably have your favorite thrift store locations because you always find something there.

We usually chalk it up to that particular location receiving incredible donations from retired(dead) eccentric heiresses or former thrift store and antique-hoarder hobbyists, and this might just be the case- however, I would like to posit that most of us just know where to look when we go thrifting. We'll hit up the sections of the store that always have something, and honestly that's all style aaaaaaaaand well, life! is really all about: knowing what you want.

So what do I usually want when I go thrifting? What is my intent?
I think on this and I hear myself saying: "usually it's just to find something *interesting*, I guess" but what does that even mean?
I suppose *interesting* just refers to those mundane, everyday objects of yore that are in fact well-conceived pieces of design that were likely taken for granted when they were first shoved onto store shelves and then touched by be-manicured housewives in polyester satin headscarves, who, in my mind, were smoking while shopping for canned green beans for some reason.
Okay, so that means household items and accessories from the 50s-70s. This is all a fantasy, but I think you get the idea?

Where I tend to find the kinda stuff I crave from a good thrift shift

1. Kitchenware!



My gOd, do I love a good enamelware bowl! I have a small collection of enamel bowls in different sizes for various kitchen vessel-ing needs. I also have a beautiful marbled robin's egg blue enamel pot. Enamelware is smooth, colorful and easy to separate and mix ingredients with. Sort of a "you can't beat the classics" kind of situation- these things are a delightful, abundant, useful and cheap thing to have a mis-matched collection of.



As for glass stuff, I tend to look for Pyrex or lab-grade glassware for keeping various things in.

Now, if you do happen to find a lab vial or two, please for the love of jeebus do not eat or drink from it unless you're a dumbass like me and occasionally keep your Tylenol in one after vigorously washing it. 


2. Hosiery!

There's always a weird bin or basket of hosiery in thrift stores, tucked alongside sewing pattern envelopes with illustrations of bridget doll lookalikes on 'em. This (as I have shared in my Instagram stories) is not a bin you should overlook, my friends.

I have found Mary Quant m'fkin tights (pictured here) for 25¢. I have found weird patterns and funky colors and puzzling decorations galore- and usually for suuuuuper cheap.
Now, you need to be careful of stale nylons and elastics getting worn out, and make sure to look at the size guide on packages before you throw them in your basket.

3. Bags and Luggage!

I love finding rattan baskets and beaded purses in thrift stores- I think that's a well documented move nowadays with folks filling their Depop shops with dainty little vintage purses made from natural materials from beads to grass weaving and even woven paper (as it was popular in the 90s).
I tend to seek out the 60s beaded bag or the top handle suitcases or rattan picnic baskets. Even as decor, a stack of old picnic baskets look really cool in an unoccupied corner in our apartment


4. Winterwear and Tulle underskirts
I'm not gonna talk about clothes at length, but I will say that knits and coats are the more surefire racks to find something really cool if you're into finding clothes that are designed to be valuable. Why? Think about it: when folks donate things to their local charity shops or thrift joints, they're getting rid of things they can't make money off quickly through resale and just need to make space. Coats and sweaters are, more likely than not, something folks will splurge on for their needs over a t-shirt or rayon dress, and so what they have will probably be relatively nice. Granted, the 90s Express Tricot dresses and Looney Tunes tees are valuable now, and they are thrift go-tos, but you already knew that.


Hell, you probably knew everything I'm bringing up here, but you know what? I could go on, so I did.



Now, go find something yourself something nice <3


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